CAYA Conversations
Join us as we dive deep into the challenges and triumphs of parenting and student life in the Clarkston area. Our expert therapists bring their insights to the table, discussing vital topics that resonate with families today. From stress and time management to navigating co-parenting and blended families, we cover it all.
Discover strategies for positive reinforcement, learn how to manage different sibling personalities, and explore when to seek professional support. Whether you’re a parent, student, or simply part of the community, our conversations are designed to empower and inspire.
Tune in to connect, learn, and grow together!
CAYA Conversations
The Right Time for Help: Navigating Mental Health Needs as a Family
Unlock the key to understanding when it's time to seek professional help for yourself or your child with therapist Trish Brown on CAYA Conversations. Trish demystifies the process of seeking support and emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in recognizing early warning signs. We'll offer you practical advice on how to determine if professional assistance is necessary, including tips on finding the right therapist and the benefits of initial consultations. This episode is a valuable resource for any parent feeling uncertain or overwhelmed about taking the next step toward mental and emotional well-being.
We also explore how parents can encourage healthy help-seeking behaviors in their children. Through simple actions like narrating daily tasks, parents can model positive habits and normalize the act of asking for assistance. Celebrating when children reach out for help not only boosts their development but also creates an accepting environment where seeking support is seen as a natural and encouraged part of life. Whether you're a parent navigating these challenges or curious about fostering a supportive atmosphere at home, this episode offers insightful guidance and reassurance.
When To Reach Out for Help Resources:
Psychology Today (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us)
NAMI-National Alliance on Mental Health (https://www.nami.org/)
American Psychological Association (https://www.apa.org/)
Explore the various services available in our community to support parents and students facing social and emotional challenges at https://chs.clarkston.k12.mi.us/counseling/emotional-support
For Parenting Under Stress episode questions contact Trish from Ellie Mental Health - Clarkston at tbrown@elliementalhealth.com or 248-308-5535.
For more information on Clarkston Area Youth Assistance visit https://caya-mi.org/ or call 248-623-4313.
Welcome to the CAYA Conversations podcast. In this final episode, we'll discuss how to recognize when it's time to seek professional support, both for your child and for yourself. We'll explore the signs that stress, anxiety or behavioral challenges may require extra help, and how reaching out for guidance can make all the difference in your family's well-being. Joining us today is the incredible Trish Brown, one of our talented therapists. Let's get started. My first question is what are some common misconceptions about seeking professional help and how can parents like overcome these barriers?
Trish Brown, LPC:It can be scary, frustrating and confusing when we know our child needs something and what we've tried as parents isn't working. Often, in these experiences, our negative self-talk and worried thoughts become louder and uglier, which can lead to misconceptions about needing help. Sure, this does not mean that there's something wrong with our child. This does not mean that there's something wrong with us. It doesn't mean that we are bad parents. It's actually very common to experience mood or behavioral challenges as a human being. The National Alliance of Mental Illness reports that one in five American adults will experience mild to moderate mental illness in their lifetime and one in six American children ages six to 17. Psychological distress is a very normal part of being human and it's actually very healthy to seek help.
Trish Brown, LPC:One misconception I'd like to address is that a professional will not be providing a quick fix. It often takes time to build rapport or comfortability with a client, and it can sometimes be a slow and gradual process to see positive change through therapy. Additionally, the reality of mental health services is that not all professionals will be the right fit for you or your family. If the first resource sought out does not lead to positive results, please try again. Please do not deduce that therapy doesn't work. Therapists are like shoes the first one you try might not fit. Therapists vary in experience and style, modality and personality. Right fit is the most important factor in your therapeutic journey. So if the first one you try is not the one, please try again.
Lauren Ruben, MS, LPC:Oh, so you're saying that you know personal growth isn't quick. Yeah, I love it, I love, I love the idea of that. It is something that takes time, and making mistakes is a necessary ingredient. I love that. What role does self-awareness play in recognizing when it's time to seek help, and how can parents develop this awareness?
Trish Brown, LPC:Self-awareness is huge. Without self-awareness, we may live in a space of denial which will delay the help we or our child need. A major part of this self-awareness is acceptance that it is normal, healthy and beautiful to ask for help in parenting. No one necessarily teaches us how to parent. There's no manual. We can't totally predict or prepare for what our child's unique needs or experiences will be, and sometimes we need to seek resources. You know that African proverb it takes a village to raise a child. Sure, consider your resources, like a therapist is part of your village. One way to develop self-awareness in parenting is to pay attention to whenever feelings, thoughts or actions of resistance show up in you. Resistance can often be the opposite of awareness. So keep an eye out for your own pushback as a signal that we may need to take a closer look at what we need.
Lauren Ruben, MS, LPC:I feel like sometimes it also takes a village to raise a human and an adult. So I think we all need that support. What steps can parents take if they feel unsure about whether their family's situation warrants that professional support?
Trish Brown, LPC:Obviously, I'm a little biased in regards to the value of professional help. I think we should all have a regular therapist, just like we do a primary care doc. Love it all. Have a regular therapist, just like we do a primary care doc. Love it.
Trish Brown, LPC:With that, though, I truly believe that, regardless of the severity, professional support is always a resource option. Even for mild situations, therapy can be an option. If unsure, I would advise families to have some conversations, gather information from various perspectives and experiences, talk to other families, talk to your school counselor or social worker, or inquire with your family doctor or primary. Most professionals will offer a 15 to 20 minute consultation too, so simply seeking out a therapist or two for their opinion is an option as well. If research is more your style, I highly recommend the resources on the Child Mind Institute website.
Trish Brown, LPC:There are also some really great mental health professionals and organizations providing resources on YouTube, and there's actually a really great TED Talk which is a few years old now, but it's called why you Should Try Therapy. Yesterday, the speaker shares about the benefits of therapy from the perspective of being a professional and through her own experience as a client. At one point, she says something like no athlete has ever reached their full potential without the support of a really great coach. Being a professional and through her own experience as a client, at one point she says something like no athlete has ever reached their full potential without the support of a really great coach, so why would we ever expect to reach our social or emotional potential on our own? It's a great talk.
Lauren Ruben, MS, LPC:I definitely think it's important for listeners to know about that. 15 to 20 minute consultation, and so if there's it's called psychology today, if you're looking for a therapist and you can use filters like location, male, female, so on and so forth, and it'll say on each provider's bio if they offer that consultation. I would try I know time is probably a constraint, but I would try to set yourself up with a handful of consultations and you just kind of might know intuitively which is going to be the best match for you. My next question is about early warning signs. So what are some early warning signs that indicate a parent or a child might benefit from professional support or intervention?
Trish Brown, LPC:So again, I want to normalize that a full, meaningful human experience includes pain, stress, sadness, anxiety and conflict just as much as it includes joy, happiness, success and calm. Sometimes, the more challenging feelings and moods become frequent, intense and have a negative impact on our daily functioning or success, which is a great reason to seek therapy, or success, which is a great reason to seek therapy. Some early warning signs, in young people specifically, might include drastic changes in behavior or increase in frequency of unhealthy behaviors, challenges with emotional regulation, traumatic exposure or a major life change. With those last two, I'd say don't wait on seeking support. Get support right away.
Lauren Ruben, MS, LPC:Good point. How can parents find the right type of help, whether it's therapy, counseling or another form of support, and what should they look for in a provider?
Trish Brown, LPC:Start somewhere right, like again, your school counselor or social worker can be a great place to start. Your primary care provider can also help send you in the right direction. Also, if you reach out to a provider who is not equipped for what you need, ethically, they're going to refer you to someone who is. I want to plug again what you just mentioned. My favorite therapist search engine is through psychologytodaycom. This database has a great system of filters like insurance and pay scale, specialties and styles and services. There's also a photo and sometimes an intro video and, of course, a bio, so you can start to gather information and get a first impression. If your child is old enough, I advise including them in that search so that they can feel invested in the process right away. That's a great point.
Lauren Ruben, MS, LPC:You can also use like your insurance website. They're definitely going to have a portal. You put in your information on your insurance card, so we know specifically that that provider is going to take your insurance. The only downside is is there's probably there's not going to be a photo or a bio, but it's still another resource to consider. How can parents assess whether their child's behavior or emotional difficulties are temporary or indicative of a more serious issue?
Trish Brown, LPC:I don't know if we can assess this accurately until we're in it. As I said before, with certain major life events like permanent change or traumatic experiences, we should assume a more chronic or prolonged impact on a child. The American Psychological Association lists a few examples of such situations, including divorce or separation, change in custody, significant chronic illness or death of a close family member, major changes like relocation, or experiencing or witnessing acts of violence or other traumas. In any of those circumstances, I recommend seeking help sooner rather than later. I would not recommend, in any situation where a child is in frequent distress, assuming that something your child is going through is just a phase and waiting to see if it goes away on its own.
Lauren Ruben, MS, LPC:That makes a lot of sense. The APA is pointing out like the top five stressors a human being could experience across their lifespan, no matter age, so that makes a lot of sense. What can, or how can, parents approach discussing the need for help with children, especially if the children are resistant or hesitant?
Trish Brown, LPC:This kind of communication should be really thoughtful. So here are a few tips Be strategic, direct, honest and obviously age-appropriate with the approach. As far as being strategic goes, consider timing. Perhaps we don't introduce this idea at bedtime, when brains are tired, and not when our child is escalated or already in a mood. That is not ideal for receiving important communication. Direct and honest language is really important. For example, we might explain that getting this therapy is about both parent and child learning new skills to help life feel better, or to find more success, or to feel supported through the hard stuff. This is all an honest description of some of the benefits of therapy. It's just simplified.
Trish Brown, LPC:Teens specifically need to know that therapy is confidential. They need to know that their therapist will not be telling their parents anything that is shared, with the exception of emergency situations. Also, do not overpromise. Remember that we may not know until we've had a session or three if a therapist is a good fit. For example, I have a friend who told their young one we're going to go meet a new friend today, meaning the therapist.
Trish Brown, LPC:Well, as it turns out, the therapist the first one they tried really wasn't that friendly, so it made it really challenging to get their child to buy in on trying again with another professional. Finally, if a child is resistant to the idea, a few ways to respond could be to again involve them in the process, show them profiles, allow them to weigh in on the chosen professional. We can also, as parents, meet with the therapist solo first to get a firsthand feel for them and then share that experience with our child. If the child flat out refuses to participate, take a beat back off, give it some time and then reintroduce the idea at a later date. Even the greatest, best fit therapist cannot help a resistant client, and forcing a child or teen into therapy can have a negative impact on their perspective on receiving help.
Lauren Ruben, MS, LPC:I really like what you said about age appropriate with the approach, and a lot of us practice solution-focused therapy. So even if, as a parent, we want to have 10 or less sessions to help us really navigate, based on our child's age, what is the best approach? That might be also another really great way to, or reason to, seek a therapist. How can parents create a supportive environment at home that encourages seeking help when needed without feeling ashamed or guilty?
Trish Brown, LPC:Model, model, model. Set an example for your children to observe, absorb and replicate. First and foremost, it helps to normalize talking about feelings, experiences and problems in the home. This models for young ones that such things are not embarrassing or bad and that it is healthy to talk about them. This will eliminate or reduce the fear of sharing feelings or digging into difficult topics with a professional. Next, create opportunities to normalize needing, asking for and accepting help through your modeling.
Trish Brown, LPC:There is this parenting skill many of us use, either consciously or unconsciously, when our kids are really little, learning language and whatnot, where we narrate what we're doing all day mommy's turning on the light or we are cleaning up our toys. Now, right, we narrate these actions and items to expose our children to language and experience so that they'll eventually use these words and know this information. Tap into this intentionality with seeking help as parents. If we talk about needing, asking for and accepting help ourselves, our children will learn that these healthy habits are healthy through exposure. Sure, finally, look for opportunities to recognize and celebrate when your child does ask for or accept help. This will positively reinforce that. The message in our family or in our home is that needing help is okay and asking for it is a positive and healthy thing.
Lauren Ruben, MS, LPC:I love that they observe, absorb and replicate. This was so helpful. Thank you so much, trish. Thank you, thank you so much for listening. If you have any questions after today's episode or want to learn more about services, feel free to reach out to Trish Brown at 248-308-5535 or email her at tbrown@elliementalhealth. com. Thanks again.
