Stress, Tamed

Ever wonder where normal stress ends and overwhelm begins? We dig into the telltale signs and share practical tools you can use anywhere—before class, after practice, or during a late-night study crunch—to calm your body, clear your head, and get back to what matters. With Lizzie joining Max, we map the difference between temporary pressure and persistent stress that strains relationships or shows up as headaches, stomach aches, or panic.

You’ll learn the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method (with the essential twist of using vivid, specific detail), box breathing you can trace with your finger to recruit more senses, and body scans to release hidden tension. We talk about sleep regularity versus just chasing hours, how screens hijack attention with constant micro-alarms, and why quick checks—did I eat, did I sleep, am I comfortable—can stop a spiral before it starts. For those “everything is urgent” days, we break down task trees, timeboxing, and alternating hard and easy work to keep momentum. You’ll also hear how the two-minute rule clears mental clutter fast and how color coding can cut through decision fatigue without adding stress.

For acute spikes, we explore sensory pattern interrupts, like a burst of cold water or a very sour candy, to snap attention back to the present. We draw a clear line between healthy distractions and avoidance, and we outline when to ask for help—from a counselor, teacher, coach, caregiver, or health professional—especially if symptoms linger or escalate. If talking feels heavy, we offer a free writing practice to unload your thoughts without editing, then revisit them with a calmer mind to reframe and plan your next move.

If stress has been running the show, this conversation offers simple, repeatable steps to reclaim focus and confidence. Listen, try one tool today, and let us know what changed. If this helped, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a quick review—your feedback helps others find these resources too.

Explore the various services available in our community to support parents and students facing social and emotional challenges at https://chs.clarkston.k12.mi.us/counseling/emotional-support

For Talk It Out episode questions contact David from Giesken Counseling Services - Clarkston at 810-626-5191.

For Parenting Under Stress episode questions contact Trish from Ellie Mental Health - Clarkston at tbrown@elliementalhealth.com or 248-308-5535.

For more information on Clarkston Area Youth Assistance visit https://caya-mi.org/ or call 248-623-4313.

Chapters

• 0:00 What Counts As Too Much Stress
• 2:25 Fast Coping: 5-4-3-2-1 And Box Breathing
• 3:21 Sleep, Food, Screens And Your Mood
• 5:32 When Everything Feels Overwhelming
• 8:30 Body Symptoms, Panic, And Quick Resets
• 10:35 Who To Talk To And Free Writing
• 13:00 Priorities, Two-Minute Rule, Color Coding
• 15:06 Closing And Resources

Transcript

Max: 0:00

Hi, welcome to another episode of CAYA Conversations. Today's topic will cover stress management and coping skills. My name is Max, and with me here today is Lizzie.

Lizzie: 0:12

Hi, nice to be here today.

Max: 0:14

Yeah. It's um to start off our conversation today, we're gonna hop right into our first question. How do I know when stress is normal versus when it's too much?

Lizzie: 0:25

Alright, so I think everybody experiences normal stress day to day. They just have a hard time really identifying what marks what is normal versus too much because there's so many stressors and things that happen in our day-to-day. Sometimes it's normal stress, but okay, normal stress is unpleasant, but it's more so of a temporary state. And then it'll typically go away after you like eat or sleep or do something that involves like a mindfulness almost exercise. Too much stress is typically you know persistent. Oftentimes it can change personal relationships, you know, that's something to look out for. How are things going with your friends, with your family? And then, excuse me, sometimes we'll see prolonged stress, so like that long-term stress, sometimes that can come up as headaches or stomach aches, and you know, long-term, really significant stress can cause panic attacks.

Max: 1:19

Yeah. So in terms of things when those panic attacks come up, and what are some quick coping skills that I can use anywhere, like in the instance of like maybe before class, at home, before a game?

Lizzie: 1:37

There's quite a few coping skills. Um, a lot of the times I encourage my clients to use something called the 54321 method. Um the main thing that I really encourage people to do while practicing this method is being very specific with what you're identifying. So a lot of the times, five four the five things that you see, people will say, I see a water bottle, I see some mints, I see a pen. But to really, I think, really make good use of this tool is okay, I see a white mint in a clear wrapper next to two other mints, or I see a black pen on top of a piece of paper. Because you're really trying to refocus that stress, cognitive refocusing, right? So let's refocus our energy into something that you have control over, which is the thinking pattern.

Max: 2:22

Yeah.

Lizzie: 2:23

Um, another really good one is like box breathing. I'm not sure if you're familiar with that. It's kind of a term that's been thrown around a lot. Um, but the key thing with this is being able to visualize almost or draw a box. Taking your finger and starting in the lower left-hand corner, you know, breathing in, then holding, breathing out. But using your finger and breathing at the same time, it uses more of the stimulus, more of your senses, thus creating more need for focus for your body. So those are the two main things that I recommend.

Max: 2:56

Yeah, it definitely makes sense that you want to kind of refocus that attention and make sure that you're really taking time to focus on that breathing exercise.

Lizzie: 3:06

Right, right. People forget to breathe when they're stressed, right? So like take a deep breath. Okay.

Max: 3:10

Yeah. Um, so I mean, speaking of like when people like they need to take the time to take a breath, how do sleep, food, and screens, how do they affect a stress level?

Lizzie: 3:23

Well, screens, as we know, can be a distraction. They can't be helpful, but they can also very much be debilitating in that focus. So, okay, teenagers in the classroom, we like to think that they put their phones away, but nine out of ten times they usually don't. The buzzing, you know, that anxiety of someone texting me, am I gonna miss something here? That need to constantly be present that takes away time from being present for yourself because essentially you're being, you're trying to be present for everyone else. So that energy isn't going back to you. It's it's just going into something that isn't going to give you the feedback that it needs or that you need. Sleep. Um, based on lots and lots of research, I think we've all been told that teens need about eight to ten hours of sleep. I firmly believe that it's more important to be consistent in the times that you sleep as opposed to focusing on the hours of sleep. Eight hours, okay, let's stick around that. Let's let's work from there. But it's important to be consistent and healthy in that balance for your routine. So monitoring your emotions and then noticing how your reactivity is to stress. If we're tired, we're going to have a little bit of a shorter fuse periodically. So something to be mindful of that. And then when it comes to food, more familiar with the term hangry. I think we've all been there, done that, right? So, okay, let's ask when you notice the stress, let's ask yourself a couple questions, right? Did I eat today? Did I get enough sleep? Am I physically comfortable? If you say no to any of those markers, no, I didn't get enough sleep. All right, so maybe I should go to bed a little bit earlier today. I didn't have breakfast today. Okay, let me go grab a protein shake or something. Maybe I'm uncomfortable. Can I go to the restroom for five minutes to take a break? Or can I walk around the halls, visit the counselor if I need to? We're really reading your body and asking yourself, what do I need in this moment?

Max: 5:28

Yeah. Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. Um Yeah, so transitioning into our next question: what can I do when everything feels like too much and I can't think straight?

Lizzie: 5:44

It sounds simple, but name it to tame it. So acknowledge it. Say I'm overwhelmed right now, I I don't have control over what I want to have control over. It's okay to admit that. It's not something that we have to be ashamed of as humans because life gets out of control. It's okay, it happens. But once you've addressed that, once you've named that, using those grounding skills that I talked about, the 54321 method, the box breathing, but also doing that body scan. Again, did you eat? Did I eat, have enough sleep? If you feel any tension in your body, doing a tight squeeze and then a release, that can be really helpful. Moving around, as I suggested earlier, also helps to engage your body just its natural form so it can start to feel comfortable, get back to that, you know, happy medium. There's a difference between distractions and using coping tools as avoiding behaviors too. Distractions is okay, I'm acknowledging I'm overwhelmed, I'm gonna go somewhere, read my body, you know, observe how I'm feeling, calm down a bit, and then I'll come back to the situation. Avoidance behaviors is out of sight, out of mind, forget about it. I'm just gonna go do what I want to do. If we if if someone is constantly avoiding that, that they're never gonna be able to get through what is overwhelming them. So it's very crucial to come back to that initial trigger, why did my mood change? What's going on? And then how do I fix it for the next time? So if um if everything feels like too much. Okay, like if we relate it to homework assignments, let's say you have three classes and you know you're doing okay in two of them, but one is just like every time you think about it, it's overwhelming, it's overwhelming. Okay, I really encourage people to write these things out. So like a task tree. So you have a main topic, let's say math homework. Okay, in math, I have to study for an exam, but I also have to do these discussion questions. Then continue to break it down from there. How long is studying? How long are you planning to study? Making sure you're giving yourself breaks in between there. If the discussion questions, if you want to break those up, okay, one discussion question, study, and then go back. But as you go through this, you can outline it and see this is my priority, this is how much time I can dedicate to this. I can see that I will give myself a break. So you're telling yourself that you have the control over the situation. Yes, it's tedious, but practice makes progress. So the more you the more they practice this, they won't have to write it out all the time. It'll just be kind of like routine for them.

Max: 8:26

And what should I do if my stress starts showing up as headaches, stomach aches, or burnout?

Lizzie: 8:34

Well, as I mentioned before, I think it's important to do that body scan, right? Did I eat? Did I get enough sleep? Am I comfortable? Monitoring these symptoms if they prolong for, like if they go on for a week or two weeks, if it continues to worsen, going to a counselor, talking to someone that you trust, super crucial finding that support group. I really encourage people to reach out to counselors or even health professionals. I know it can be a scary thing to talk about feelings, but if if you don't take the the steps to recognize that you need something, it's it's kind of difficult for other people to give you the support that you need because sometimes you don't even know what you need. So talking to someone who can guide you in those steps, that can be really helpful. Um so yeah, so the headache, stomachs that burn out, the if they're extended feelings, if they keep coming up. Early morning nausea, for example, is common in teens. They don't want to go to school, they skip breakfast, feel that nauseated feeling. If they feel that doing those breathing exercises, giving yourself a break, and watching the sugar bugs, you know, I encourage this periodically, but if someone is experiencing, let's say, a panic attack or they're feeling that overwhelming kind of bubble or wave over them, eating a sour patch or like a warhead, something really, really sour will shock the system. The brain will activate, okay, whoa, this is this is overcompensating. I don't know what's going on, I have to focus on this. It's it is, you know, please find sugar-free things, but it is very helpful for that immediate reset.

Max: 10:20

Yeah, to kind of destroy that shock response.

Lizzie: 10:23

Right. Especially if you're feeling these body symptoms, okay, let's activate something else that we can do with our senses in the body to distract our brain.

Max: 10:33

Very interesting. And finally, uh, for our last question or topic of discussion today, who can I talk to when I'm feeling overwhelmed?

Lizzie: 10:42

Yeah, I I know I mentioned that a little bit earlier, but again, a parent, can't caregiver, a teacher you trust, or a school counselor, or even a coach, you know, sometimes athletes have really good relationships with their coaches, and if they find them that that's their trusting person, it doesn't matter the label. That's someone they trust, that's all that matters. Obviously, reaching out to a health professional. I encourage this if symptoms prolong three, four weeks, and if significant impact, like s significant things are really affecting the day-to-day. Like you can't go to school, you're the you're extra tired, not eating as much weight loss is a huge thing to watch out for. So, really, really making sure that you're taking care of your body and needs and reaching out to a health professional in those extreme moments. Well, one of the things that I found really helpful if you know, if you're feeling like you don't really want to talk to anyone, but you don't want to keep holding on to these thoughts, it's a free writing exercise, so kind of like word vomiting. Setting up a timer, five, ten minutes, however much you feel like you need, and then just write. Don't go back to fix, punctuation, spelling, nothing. If you have one thought jumps into another, that's fine. Once that timer goes off, putting that away, give your brain a break, give your body a break. Distracting behavior. So going doing something fun. Maybe you want to go for a walk, hang out with some friends, watch a movie. Then when you find yourself that you're in a comfortable space, read over that writing. You have it in front of you, what was going on. You can address, okay, maybe I could have thought of this differently, or maybe this wasn't as deep, right? That phrase, it's not that deep. Sometimes it's not that deep. We just make things based on previous experience and that can become kind of like a bias going in. So when you look at what you've written, it's right in front of you. You can touch it, you can erase it after the fact, you can reframe it right then and there. And that is super helpful. At least it's not like in your mind anymore, right? You're metaphorically, you're putting those thoughts onto paper.

Max: 12:50

Yeah. It's at least something that you can start to see your thoughts. Exactly.

Lizzie: 12:54

Yeah. Seeing is believing. Yeah. So see your thoughts, work through them.

Max: 13:01

All right, now going into our next question: how can I prioritize when everything feels important?

Lizzie: 13:07

Just to start right off the bat, there's a two-minute rule. Thinking to yourself, if this takes less than two minutes, I'm gonna do it right away. Because it clears up space from the small stuff. So if you think of your brain as a ball and all these activities and things you have to do, some are big, some are small, it's all going around. But if you take care of those small tasks, okay, brush my teeth in the morning, brush my hair, or eat a snack, even though I'm on the run, those are small things that you can do to create more space in your mind for things that hold more weight, that have more importance. Another thing that I find helpful is color coding priorities. So going back to the classes, you know, what class is most important? What class are you struggling with most? Labeling them in colors, especially if you're someone who really likes colors, who, okay, green makes me feel good. You know, I like wearing blue, that makes me feel good. So things that are happy, that are easy feeling, low priority, those would be green, like low-key kind of stuff. Then you have things that would be more of like a medium of importance, or it's it's mid, right? The kids like to say that, the teens. Um, so yellow would be that mid-category, that medium importance. And red, we know red is blaring. There have been studies that have been done in the past with the color red in academics, that it actually causes more stress. So I encourage people to if red doesn't work for you, if it creates more stress, then okay, here's a priority, here's my focus, use a different color, right? This is not something that's locked, locked, and loaded. You have to follow these steps. The point is to organize then. This is the most important, here's my VIP stuff, and then mid-range, and okay, I can be low-key about this stuff.

Max: 15:06

Well, that does conclude this episode of CAYA Conversations. I thank you for all for listening. Um, we are from Gieskin Counseling Services that are spelled G-I-E-S-K-E-N. You can find us at www.gieskincounseling.com. Or you can call our main office at 810-626-5191. Once again, my name is Max, and with me today was Lizzie.

Lizzie: 15:36

Thanks for having me.

Jamie: 15:40

Hey your tuned in to CAYA Conversations, the podcast all about teens, families, and real life stuff happening in our community. We're brought to you by Clarkston Area Youth Assistance and yeah we do everything from cool programs and camp scholarships, to recognizing teens doing awesome things. Basically we've got your back. Hit up caya-mi.org or call 248-623-4313.